Sunday, December 3, 2017

The Art of the Non-Apology Apology

The “reckoning” has provided a rich harvest of phony acts of contrition, introducing a few novelties into the art of the non-apology apology. Public figures used to like the amorphous formula “mistakes were made,” as if assaulting a woman was on the same level as losing your car keys. But that has fallen out of favor and now crisis management teams craft more ambitious apologies. They, of course, prove just as empty and craven upon closer inspection.
A glaze of therapeutic babble and high-sounding subjectivism, the apologies have followed the same basic pattern: deny the accuracy of the victim’s “experience,” then profess great respect for the denied experience while throwing in a few grand-sounding points about the vast enlightenment the supposedly false charges have occasioned.
The presumption of the apologies is perhaps their most inadvertently amusing aspect. Take MSNBC pundit Mark Halperin’s let’s-solve-this-problem-together tone in his apology: “I hope not only will women going forward be more confident in speaking up, but also that we as an industry and society can create an atmosphere that no longer tolerates this kind of behavior.” Ever the know-it-all, Halperin couldn’t resist lecturing others on how to remedy a problem he helped create.
Al Franken, whose line of accusers keeps lengthening, says that we all have a lot to learn from all the stuff he says that he didn’t do. In a ludicrous attempt at a kind of retroactive chivalry, Franken insinuated that he was not challenging the charges vigorously, lest that retard society’s deepening respect for women: “And the truth is, what people think of me in light of this is far less important than what people think of women who continue to come forward to tell their stories.” Wow, how noble of him. What a gentleman. The charges are unfair, he implies, but he is going to endure them as the price one must pay for a more enlightened society.


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