Thursday, July 11, 2013

Enabling Incompetence

Every one of us exhibits, shall we say, "odd" behavior. Nothing criminal, or dangerous, or perverse, mind you, but behavior that might appear odd to the average person. I blush to admit that I have been accused of this myself. When I am writing or doing research, I tend to "tune the world out" and focus entirely on the task at hand, able to ignore conversations around me or even the occasional thunderstorm just outside my window (like the one raging right now, for example). My beautiful bride has described this behavior to others as "Well, he just really concentrates on what he's doing, and really gets into it."
In a nutshell, she's enabling my slightly odd behavior.
Enabling behaviors are usually exemplified when they are used in dealing with the problems of others who abuse alcohol or drugs or those who are guilty of physical or emotional spousal abuse. These are not the behaviors of the drug or alcohol abuser themselves or the guy who beats his wife or demeans her in public. Rather, they are the behaviors of the parents or spouses of the alcoholic or addict or the beaten wife, who try to excuse, explain away or redirect blame from the abuser in an effort to "protect" him or her because they love the abuser.

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